it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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