"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You were trust falling into bushes
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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