Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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