Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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