If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.