Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?

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  (480): hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener? http://tfl.nu/98l9
  Replies (77) Good night (5499) Bad night (568)
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  (914): View more from New York

  apparently the secret to your success is patron

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  (914): apparently the secret to your success is patron http://tfl.nu/m5sk
  Replies (7) Good night (2397) Bad night (439)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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  (859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr
  Replies (66) Good night (1305) Bad night (24141)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.

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  (401): he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/e3p6
  Replies (36) Good night (941) Bad night (4986)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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  (972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up. http://tfl.nu/rj29
  Replies (44) Good night (3938) Bad night (714)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

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  (972): Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama? http://tfl.nu/w817
  Replies (11) Good night (5107) Bad night (1287)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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  (616): our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time. http://tfl.nu/fvgl
  Replies (13) Good night (6381) Bad night (983)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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  (561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si
  Replies (11) Good night (3311) Bad night (1266)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.

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  (214): Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me. http://tfl.nu/otui
  Replies (12) Good night (2570) Bad night (988)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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  (205): the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome. http://tfl.nu/nwqx
  Replies (13) Good night (2298) Bad night (1070)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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  (781): Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave. http://tfl.nu/vplg
  Replies (21) Good night (756) Bad night (5588)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk

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  (613): Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk http://tfl.nu/x5i0
  Replies (6) Good night (1407) Bad night (492)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1390) Bad night (475)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles

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  (313): we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/5ilu
  Replies (12) Good night (911) Bad night (414)
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  (831): View more from California

  Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it

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  (831): Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it http://tfl.nu/5vlz
  Replies (0) Good night (269) Bad night (490)

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