I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.