Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

(847): View more from Illinois

And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

(319): View more from Iowa

At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

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(319): True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes (847): And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me. (319): At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements. http://tfl.nu/k3x0

Replies (32) Good night (4552) Bad night (721)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.

(404): View more from Georgia

Is it any good?

(615): View more from Tennessee

Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.

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(615): Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet. (404): Is it any good? (615): Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that. http://tfl.nu/ptq9

Replies (46) Good night (3727) Bad night (649)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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(608): State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/w7b2

Replies (46) Good night (4223) Bad night (659)
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(561): View more from Florida

How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?

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(561): How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible? http://tfl.nu/fu3i

Replies (101) Good night (928) Bad night (4542)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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(479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu

Replies (8) Good night (1412) Bad night (6923)
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(519): View more from Ontario

wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant

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(519): wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant http://tfl.nu/7q0r

Replies (191) Good night (883) Bad night (11880)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.

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(570): My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7sdv

Replies (58) Good night (6160) Bad night (898)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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(608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3

Replies (17) Good night (9753) Bad night (1400)
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(519): View more from Ontario

My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"

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(519): My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things" (1-519): I didn't realize you were one of the "good people" http://tfl.nu/039y

Replies (16) Good night (4533) Bad night (1150)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka

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(913): I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka http://tfl.nu/3gfs

Replies (5) Good night (2173) Bad night (867)
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(949): View more from California

In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.

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(949): In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor. http://tfl.nu/vpx7

Replies (33) Good night (6448) Bad night (2254)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Gym?

(801): View more from Utah

Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.

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(503): Gym? (801): Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants. http://tfl.nu/eaoe

Replies (7) Good night (1479) Bad night (807)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.

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(724): I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower. http://tfl.nu/44q1

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (313)
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(207): View more from Maine

Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.

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(207): Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out. http://tfl.nu/biah

Replies (5) Good night (541) Bad night (343)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

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(267): do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/3j8j

Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (307)

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