Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.