Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.