Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I heard we made out

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  (212): I heard we made out http://tfl.nu/5m1y
  Replies (8) Good night (4168) Bad night (873)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3865) Bad night (946)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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  (518): I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room. http://tfl.nu/qe4u
  Replies (22) Good night (6661) Bad night (1008)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.

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  (407): official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer. http://tfl.nu/fxe4
  Replies (31) Good night (601) Bad night (8545)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

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  (757): And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate." http://tfl.nu/e62b
  Replies (11) Good night (7067) Bad night (1051)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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  (301): We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else. http://tfl.nu/5mkn
  Replies (5) Good night (4010) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  No that means he must've used the nipple clamps

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  (479): No that means he must've used the nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/kmo2
  Replies (4) Good night (2039) Bad night (1167)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?

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  (717): Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon? http://tfl.nu/o6hv
  Replies (7) Good night (1442) Bad night (1422)
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  (718): View more from New York

  If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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  (718): If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go http://tfl.nu/k79y
  Replies (9) Good night (1625) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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  (217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult
  Replies (2) Good night (1409) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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  (541): Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? http://tfl.nu/ak1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1596) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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  (515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1408) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.

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  (410): Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface. http://tfl.nu/w1ur
  Replies (7) Good night (2146) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever

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  (251): I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever http://tfl.nu/l3up
  Replies (0) Good night (226) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success

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  (207): I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success http://tfl.nu/p8r3
  Replies (7) Good night (570) Bad night (268)

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