FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh