it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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