there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
