he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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