Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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