I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
