need another drink. this is the easiest way
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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