is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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