There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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