Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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