Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
