My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
