My hand turned me down
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
