I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
