In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
