It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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