just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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