As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
