Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
