How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
