so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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