he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
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every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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