about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
