spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
