I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
