defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
