suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Randomize
