Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
