mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
