Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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