I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
