we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
