apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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