i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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