Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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