the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
