Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I deserve this hangover.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
