Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
