If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
