i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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