I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
