Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
