shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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