i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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