Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
