is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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