I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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