I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
