forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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