She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am mentally ready for anal.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
