Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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