she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
