Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
