there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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