I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
