im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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