We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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