Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
