I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
