Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize