It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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