That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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