i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
