note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
