in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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